The most important thing for any person to keep in mind when they are courting another is that courtship is, above all else, the image and reflection of the divine love affair between God and every individual soul. From this there follow a number of conclusions.
 The first is that courtship is primarily a process of coming to know, and by knowing, coming to love. This means that it is not merely helpful, but essential that both parties should seek an honest self-disclosure. They must not attempt reform themselves artificially and temporarily into the sort of man or woman that they think will be most desirable. Instead they must trust that if this is the one person in all the world whom God has made most fit to be their helper and partner, to become with them “one flesh,” then their true personality, which is made in the image and likeness of God, and which is unique, wondrous and completely beyond the scope of merely human invention, will avail them much more than any absurd persona that they might seek to create.

The second is that courtship will not and cannot be an uninterrupted cataract of sweetness and delight. Man is a fallen creature – and in spite of the expectations which Hollywood and bad romantic books may have raised in you, your beloved will be no exception to this rule. This means that a great part of the process of courtship is the process of coming to love, and to be willing to give your entire life for the sake of a person who is as full of faults and irritating habits as you are. Recall that the means by which God has wooed your soul is that of infinite patience, inexhaustible forgiveness, and the cross.

Finally, God does not use formulas. If you look at the course of divine love in any given life, you will find that it is surprising, fresh and unique. Your courtship should be likewise – do not follow manuals or rubrics, do not employ slick tricks that are designed to win the heart of any (generic) woman or man. Instead find the way in which you, as a unique person, are best able to win the heart of your unique sweetheart, and proceed with confidence. There is nothing more likely to turn a person away from you – especially once you have been courting long enough that you should have a good knowledge of your love – than canned speeches or predictable gifts (unless your intimate knowledge of the One in question tells you that they are the kind of person who abhors surprises and is absolutely gah-gah over dull procedure.) Court, instead, with a panache that reflects your character, and which shows that you have taken the time and effort to understand what your special lady (or gentleman) particularly likes, and that you have gone out of your way to account for it when designing dates and gifts, and especially when planning the proposal.