The Patriarch on Women Melinda Selmys Originally published in Issue VIII of Vulgata, July 2002.

We are bombarded with an endless stream of messages about the feminist movement. Some condemn it as utterly and irreparably Satanic, an attack on the family, upon authority, and upon women themselves. Others hail it as the great achievement of the twentieth century, a chance for an oppressed and belittled people to finally rise and claim their rightful status as complete equals with men in all areas of life. The gurus of political correctness label any attempt to question any of feminism’s tenets “harassment,” “chauvinism,” and an attempt to assert “patriarchal dominance.” But, like any movement, there is much in feminism which is good, and much which is bad. How, then, do we recognize the good fruits amidst the evils of abortion, contraception and divorce? What is an attack on family values, and what is a valid correction of male presumption?

Fortunately, our Pope has done a great deal to shed much needed light upon the issue. Unfortunately, most people, including many faithful Catholics, don’t know what he is saying, and so the position of the Church is often misconstrued to fit individual prejudices. So what exactly is the Pope saying about the status and rights of women, and how do we take his message into the world in order to bring about a true vision of women’s liberation?

Equal in Dignity, Ontologically Different

Perhaps the greatest mistake made by the mainstream feminist movement lies in assuming that difference equals inequality. Their rallying cry becomes “If men can do it, so can we,” and somewhere in the rush to ensure that not a single bastion of male privilege remains, the question of whether we should do it becomes obscured. Thus, if men can be in the army, so can we. If men can be Priests, so can we. If men can have sex without getting pregnant, so can we. And any suggestion that we cannot, or should not, is merely an attempt to oppress us under the iron fist of male patriarchal privilege.

I do not wish to suggest that there are not valid complaints to be made. In his message of August 6, 1995, the Pope recognized that "in looking objectively at historical reality, we are compelled to notice with regret that…women have suffered the effects of systematic marginalization. For too long their opportunities for expression outside the family have been denied or restricted, and the women who, despite being thus penalized, succeeded in asserting themselves have had to be very enterprising." However, the fact that women can and should be entrance "into the world of culture in all its branches—from philosophy to theology, from the social to the natural sciences, from the figurative arts to music," does not imply that there are no differences between men and women.

“Both man and woman are human beings to an equal degree, both are created in God's image.”i This may seem a self-evident truth to any Christian living today, however it has profound implications with regards to the anthropology of the sexes. "Being a person in the image and likeness of God…involves existing in a relationship, in relation to [another] "I". This is a prelude to the definitive self-revelation of the Triune God: a living unity in the communion of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit."ii God is not individual, He is Threeness in Oneness, and in calling man to likeness with Himself, he has called us to a unity of persons. “'Man cannot exist alone' (cf. Gen 2:18); he can exist only as a 'unity of the two', and therefore in relation to another human person.”iii Herein lies the key to understanding the creation of man as male and female: it was not good for man to be alone (cf. Gen. 2, 18) because without another person he could not fulfil his vocation to likeness with the blessed Trinity. At the same time, a mere copy of himself would not have provided a suitable partner, the person who would allow him to fulfil his vocation to communion would have to complement him, just as the Son complements the Father. God's plan for the human species demanded two different, but equally human persons to enter in a self-giving communion by which they would imitate the eternal self-giving of the Father to the Son and the Son to the Father in the intimate life of the Holy Trinity.

This calling to communion "applies to every human being, whether woman or man, who live it out in accordance with the special qualities proper to each."iv In His wisdom, God has created us as two sexes, equal, but possessing different resources and reflecting His image in different ways. “The personal resources of femininity are certainly no less than the resources of masculinity…a woman, as well as a man, must understand her "fulfilment" as a person, her dignity and vocation, on the basis of these resources, according to the richness of the femininity which she received on the day of creation and which she inherits as an expression of the "image and likeness of God" that is specifically hers.”v On the basis of these resources, each of the sexes has been granted a unique calling. On the part of men, it is a calling to fatherhood, either to physical fatherhood through the vocation of marriage, or spiritual fatherhood as a priest or religious. For women, it is a vocation to motherhood, and, again, the motherhood may be physical or it may be the spiritual motherhood which forms the vocation of religious sisters. All of these vocations are a call to service, to a life of self-giving in imitation of Christ. Wherever men have used their positions as priest or husband as a means of exercising personal power and control, they have sinned seriously against those entrusted by God to their care. Likewise, wherever women have claimed power over those whom they are called to mother, especially against those unborn within their wombs, they have become just as guilty of abuse of power as their male counterparts. Wherever individualistic models of power and domination, whether male or female, are used as a basis for human interaction, the rights and dignity of the person will end up being denied. Only when the sexes exist in a relationship of mutual service and self-giving can the true rights of either sex be realized.

The Gift of Motherhood

We mentioned briefly the fact that all women are called to motherhood, but it is specifically with physical motherhood that I wish to deal in this section. John Paul II writes that “it is necessary to counter the misconception that the role of motherhood is oppressive to women, and that a commitment to her family, particularly to her children, prevents a woman from reaching personal fulfillment, and women as a whole from having an influence in society.”vi

Unfortunately, we live in a culture where women are told that motherhood detracts from, instead of revealing, our dignity. Many women fear pregnancy, believing that having a child would "ruin their life," preventing them from fulfilling their dreams and potential, and enslaving them to an existence of drudgery and misery. Motherhood is frequently portrayed in a negative light and is identified as a one of the chief obstacles to a woman's self-realization. Some feminists have even gone so far as to compare the womb to a built in prison, a sort of natural discrimination against the female sex which must be corrected by contraception and abortion if women are ever to realize equality with men. Kate Michelman of NARAL claims that "Abortion is the guarantor of a woman's... right to participate fully in the social and political life of society." This claim is clearly based on the notion that mothers are excluded from such participation, and, unfortunately, it is a claim in which many women have come to believe.

John Paul II recognizes that there are still many obstacles facing mothers who wish to participate in other aspects of social life. He sees this, however, as a problem to be remedied by eliminating discrimination against mothers, not one to be exacerbated by telling women that their right to participate comes at the cost of their right to procreate. "The challenge facing most societies is that of upholding, indeed strengthening, woman's role in the family while at the same time making it possible for her to use all her talents and exercise all her rights in building up society. However women's greater presence in the work force, in public life, and generally in the decision-making processes guiding society, on an equal basis with men, will continue to be problematic as long as the costs continue to burden the private sector."vii Abortion, contraception and other evils which attack motherhood are incapable of achieving equality because they undermine the basic premise that women and men are equal. Those who support them have given in to the assumption that women, in their natural state, are less able than men to make valuable contributions to society, and so they insist that women must be corrected, either by chemicals or surgery, in order to allow them to claim the equality which nature has denied them. In contradiction to this, the Church states that women are categorically equal to men, and that we must strive to realize this equality by ensuring that the rights of women and children are protected under law, and by creating a civilization in which women are not denied participation on the basis of their reproductive capacities.

"A mother's presence in the family, [is] so critical to the stability and growth of that basic unity of society [the family], ][and]should…be recognized, applauded and supported in every possible way."viii Far from detracting from our ability to make a valuable contribution to society, motherhood defines and epitomizes it. "In conceiving and giving birth to a child, the woman "discovers herself through a sincere gift of self"."ix This self-discovery is not merely a discovery of our ability to conceive and bear life, it is a discovery of our calling as complete persons made in the image and likeness of God. Parenthood allows the human person to enter, in an intimate way, into likeness with the divine life. "The eternal mystery of generation, which is in God himself, the one and Triune God (cf. Eph. 3:14-15), is reflected in the woman's motherhood and in the man's fatherhood."x This profound realization of the image of God within man is realized in a special way within the woman who shares the energies of her body and soul with the new life developing within her womb.

"Motherhood involves a special communion with the mystery of life, as it develops in the woman's womb. The mother is filled with wonder at this mystery of life, and "understands" with unique intuition what is happening inside her... The man - even with all his sharing in parenthood - always remains "outside" the process of pregnancy and the baby's birth; in many ways he has to learn his own "fatherhood" from the mother."xi

"Perhaps more than men, women acknowledge the person, because they see persons with their hearts. They see them independently of various ideological or political systems. They see others in their greatness and limitations; they try to go out to them and help them. In this way the basic plan of the Creator takes flesh in the history of humanity and there is constantly revealed, in the variety of vocations, that beauty--not merely physical, but above all spiritual--which God bestowed from the  very beginning on all, and in a particular way on women."xii

It is significant that most women who desire women's equality have argued that women's participation in political, social and economic life is important for precisely these reasons, yet in their rush to gain entrance to traditionally male-dominated spheres of activity they have abandoned the very source of the virtues with which they hoped to transform the world. The Pope sees, in the increased public activity of women, a tremendous hope for peace and for the elimination of oppressive economics, but the realization of this hope is continually stymied by the rejection of motherhood in favour of power. Thus, although we have women entering the political sphere, they so transform themselves in the light of traditional male power-models that they lose the resources to change those models. Likewise, successful business women are routinely described as ruthless, aggressive, ambitious -- in becoming successful, the abandon the maternal virtues, and become carbon copies of the male CEOs whose abuses they are supposed to be correcting. Thus, the potential implied in the introduction of woman's genius to public life is unrealized because the new systems, although technically more receptive to women, remain closed to those women who fully realize their femininity through the practice of the maternal virtues.

The Position of Women in Marriage

It is commonly assumed that Christianity places women in a position of complete subjection to their husbands, and unfortunately this is a position that has all to often been taken up by Christians as well as by feminists. We are often encouraged to look back towards the fifties as a kind of idyllic Eden of family life and family values. If, however, we scratch beneath the surface we quickly see that the fifties' image of the perfect nuclear family is flawed, not because the roles are confused, but because the impetus for rebellion is inherent in the perception of those roles. Mother stays home and keeps house and looks after her children and serves her husband. At the end of the day she presents the smiling, well behaved little ones to her husband, and then listens attentively while he relates the important business which has filled his day. She, for her part, is not to bore him with details of her mundane domestic existence and is to avoid troubling him with mere domestic problems. She is also to ensure that he has plenty of time to relax, for, after all, he has had a hard day at work. Consider, is it any wonder that women rejected this model of the family? It is a model in which the dignity of the domestic sphere is consistently demeaned and belittled. The woman is to stay at home and care for the children, not because it is a tremendously fulfilling vocation befitting her dignity as a human being, but rather because her husband is presumably more fit for the really important and fulfilling work to be had outside of the house. A friend of mine who came to North America from Europe recalls that he was appalled by the mistreatment of women by spouses who simply took them for granted, and who assumed that their wives were not entitled to help with child raising or to time off from their hard work. Contrast this attitude with that expressed by the Pope: "It is…necessary that the man be fully aware that in their shared parenthood he owes a special debt to the woman."xiii Far from presuming upon her services as wife and mother, he is to respect her in the knowledge that he is indebted to her for the sacrifices which she makes in bringing a child into the world. Furthermore, while the woman obviously has greater responsibility for children during the period before and during birth, "The child's upbringing, taken as a whole, should include the contribution of both parents: the maternal and paternal contribution." This paternal contribution cannot be achieved in a situation where the husband is distanced from the domestic sphere, where work and leisure consume all of his time, or where the child-rearing is considered the exclusive province of women.

Any model of ideal family life must be a model which includes and upholds the dignity of women. The family is frequently described as a domestic Church, a reality which absolutely excludes any attempt to oppress or demean its members. The vocation of the Church is the sanctification of the world, and, as its microcosmic image, the vocation of the family is the sanctification of her members. This calling can only be realized through an equal recognition of the dignity of all persons, male and female, within the family structure. Such recognition is inherent in God's original plan for the family, and for the relations between the sexes as revealed in the biblical account of the creation of man.

Much has been said about the relations between Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, yet, despite a great body of scholarship, much about the account remains misunderstood. Arguments are bandied about regarding the importance of the order of creation, the fact that Eve first ate the apple, the description of Eve as helpmate, and so forth. What is missed is the fact that the story clearly shows the creation of man, both men and women, as equal partners in the work of subduing the earth, and of multiplying in order to fill it. When Adam first sees Eve he does not say, "Here at last is a serving wench to do my dishes," he says "Here at last is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones" (cf. Gen 2:23) In other words, here at last is one who is like me, another human being made in the image and likeness of God. Here we see the proper relation of the sexes, and here, in a few more chapters, we see what disrupted it.

There is often a great deal made of the fact that Eve was the first to eat the apple. Feminists say that this demonizes women, typifying them as the means by which sin enters into the hearts of men. Those who support a male-dominated family structure, on the other hand, claim that this is the fruit of Eve's presumption, that she should have asked Adam before eating instead of taking the decision upon herself. Both of these interpretations are severely flawed, because they assume that the onus for the fall is entirely on Eve. If we assume that the responsibility is primarily Eve's, we fall into the same error that Adam did when God asked him who was responsible for eating the forbidden fruit. God sees that Adam is hiding from Him, and, like any parent, He immediately understand what that means: Adam has been disobedient. In the face of God's anger, Adam, like a typical human being, tries to put it off on Eve. Eve in turn tries to put it off on the serpent: both try to say that it was someone else's fault, presumably in the hope that someone else will then be punished. But what does God do? He clearly shows that no one is going to get out of this by blaming someone else. All three, the serpent and the woman and the man, are to blame, and all three will suffer punishment as a result. In fact, if we take a closer look at the story, Adam comes out looking just as bad as Eve. The most important factor here gets lost in translation: the Serpent was not speaking only to Eve, in the hopes that she would be weaker than her husband and more likely to submit. He addresses them in the plural, both Adam and Eve, and Adam remains silent. Eve may have been the first to eat the apple, but she is also the only one who tries to put up any sort of defence against the lies of the serpent. Adam listens without trying to defend God's commandments, and when Eve is conquered by temptation, he does nothing to try to prevent her from eating. They fall not because Eve was remiss in her duties towards her husband, but rather because Adam was negligent in his duties towards his wife.

This is tremendously important in understanding the curses which God speaks to Eve. When He says, of her husband, that "he shall rule over you" (Gen 3:16), he is not relating a moral imperative. Rather, he is describing the fruits of a breach in the relationship between men and women. "The biblical description in the Book of Genesis outlines the truth about the consequences of man's sin, as it is shown by the disturbance of that original relationship between man and woman which corresponds to their individual dignity as persons."xiv This disturbance is inherent in the account of the fall: the husband is disobedient to God's commandment to love his wife as his own flesh, he fails in his calling to nourish and cherish her, (cf. Eph. 5,28-29) and then, when he fails, he blames her. We see here the pattern which has repeated itself throughout human history, and which has given rise to so much anger and rebelliousness amongst women. Repeatedly throughout history men have done exactly as God said they would, they have abused their privilege as head of their wives (cf. Eph. 5, 23) by employing it without reference to their own responsibility to love their wives as their own flesh, to sanctify and nourish them, and to lay down their lives in a daily dying to self for the sake of their spouses and families. (cf. Eph. 5, 25-30) Ironically, men have traditionally made much of the sin of disobedience on the part of women, and little of the abuse of power by men. This is a grave injustice, and the attempts to remedy it have been one of the great achievements of the past century. Unfortunately, this correction has come in the wake of a move towards radical individualism on the part of women. The responsibilities of men have finally been brought fully into the light, and husbands are becoming increasingly sensitive to their duties towards their wives. The responsibilities of women, on the other hand, have been almost entirely discarded as the fruits of oppression and chauvinism. What is required is a return to the balanced, mutual self-giving demanded by Christian marriage.

What is required is not simply the return to older models in which women are forced to submit to men. Rather, we must attempt to return to the arrangement implied in Eden and made explicit in the teachings of Christ and the writings on St. Paul. As John Paul II points out, "In the relationship between husband and wife the "subjection" is not one-sided but mutual."xv Wives must submit to their husbands in everything, and husbands must submit to everything for the sake of their wives. Thus the submission of the wife ceases to be a constant capitulation to unreasonable requests and whims, and becomes, rather, submission to the judgement of one who loves her with the love of Christ. Likewise, the husband is called to know and respect the needs of his wife, and to submit his work and his life in order to ensure that those needs are met. Only in this way can the work of the serpent be contradicted, for only in this sort of marriage does Adam become willing to challenge the serpent for the sake of his wife, and Eve to forsake the apple for the sake of her husband.

We have made great strides in the past century towards realizing the true dignity of women, and I must agree with the Pope in saying that "The journey has been a difficult and complicated one and, at times, not without its share of mistakes. But it has been substantially a positive one." The work remains unfinished, and will continue to remain so as long as the nature of femininity and of the feminine calling are not respected by those who fight for women's equality, and so long as motherhood continues to be demeaned and attacked by the violence of contraception and abortion. We, as Christians, must continue to proclaim the dignity of women, and of women's vocations, and we must join the Pope in promoting a new feminism that respects all people, men and women, and which reflects the true dignity of women as they were created by God.

Works Cited
i-v,ix-xi,xiii-xv Mulieris Dignitatem, Apostolic Letter of John Paul II
ii-viii Papal Message on women’s conference, given to Gertrude Mongella, Secretary General of the UN fourth World Conference on Women, by Pope John Paul II
iii Letter to Women, John Paul II